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I once worked with a man who had a twin brother that everyone referred to as Skip.
In theory, it’s a classic nickname, but do you actually know anyone who goes by the name Skip?
I have always said that curiosity is the foundation of a conscious life, so of course, I had to get the scoop.
When I asked him how the nickname started, He paused to process the question and said he had never been asked before. After a few minutes, he shared the following story:
“Skip, and I used to work security together at an arena. One night during a slow shift with another guard, he ranted about people being followers. That all these people just followed the crowd and couldn’t think for themselves. I told him I didn’t think so and that many people think for themselves, even if it doesn’t seem like it. The guard said he could prove it and started calling my brother Skip to show nobody would question it. The next day he started calling my brother Skip, and sure enough, everyone at work started calling him by that name over time. And he was right; nobody ever asked why.”
In most cases, we are living in an illusion of power.
In a freakishly subtle way, we voluntarily give our power away with the perception that this decision is made from a powerful place.
When you embody a conscious perception, you choose to be an active participant in your own life. Meaning aware people are not afraid to challenge the status quo because it is the only way to decide for themselves.
If this has got your wheels turning, let’s keep going. Here are five ways you can take your power back, even in areas you didn’t know you gave it away:
- Get Curious
In an era where we buy memberships without reading the fine print and impulse buy based on a commercial, it’s easy to agree to things without asking if it makes sense for us to begin with.
Start to question everything! This is different from being a skeptic – skeptics come to the table with their minds ready to challenge the topic at hand; they are coming from the perception of “debunking” something. That’s not the vibration we aim for here because skepticism contains layers of judgment.
Instead, we are getting curious about a topic and how that topic feels to us, both emotionally and physically. Let’s say I am starting my freshman year of college, and I need to pick my major. I can choose the one that makes the most money or the safest option, so I know I don’t flunk out.
Or I can get curious about the options and ask myself which ones feel right for me.
Creating the habit of asking yourself how you feel about things will eventually lead you to notice that you have been acting from a passive point of view rather than an active one. Conscious thinkers are always authentically choosing for themselves instead of doing what is expected.
- Do your Shadow Work
This is where most people stop – nobody wants to hear that they need to face themselves to live a full life.
Bad news: you do.
Silverling: You’re going to wonder why you took so long to do it because, in this case, the grass is greener on the other side!
A great starting point for this is to move from a state of reaction to a form of response. Outside of surprise parties, impromptu proposals, and last-minute trips with your girlfriends, functioning from a state of impulse does not bring joy long-term. Bringing your awareness to how you react in any given moment and pausing to give yourself time to process completely transforms the outcome of that situation. When you take a moment to come back to yourself ask how you’d like to handle your response, you are now in full control.
Taking the time to dive deep and learning what makes us tick can serve as a real eye-opener, revealing the areas of our lives where perhaps we are giving away our power.
- Set Boundaries
If you took my advice on number two, you are probably already familiar with this topic.
If you are new to this, boundaries are parameters that you set with a person not to feel compromised emotionally, mentally, and physically. Everyone should have them, yet most of us are conditioned not to.
Being raised in a Latin household, my mother thought it was a joke when I tried to express my boundaries; after all, she paid the rent and made the rules.
So, we take this programming into adulthood, and we subconsciously think that we don’t need boundaries at work or with our partners and children.
We agree to lunches with the coworker who says slightly racist comments to us, so we aren’t “rude.”
We take on all the household work because we decided to stay home with the kids. After all, “it’s only fair since we aren’t working.”
We agree to jobs we hate because it has benefits.
That’s not living authentically. That’s not putting yourself first. Stand up for yourself and tell people how you will and will not be treated – because you don’t deserve anything less.
- Be Unapologetic with Every Decision
I’m going to be honest here: People don’t like it when you get your act together.
Some will gasp in shock; others will try to convince you otherwise. And a handful will guilt trip you for making that decision.
Can we talk about the audacity?
If you decide to shift onto a conscious life path, do it unwaveringly.
Get ready to have the birds talking, honey!
It isn’t with one foot dipped in the shallow end; it is a full dive into the deep end and our eyes open. If you fully commit to the decisions you make, no one can convince you otherwise, and that is when you are powerful.
- Don’t Judge Others for Making Different Decisions
So now we are righteous, getting curious, keeping our cool, and making decisions like a boss. With these new pair of eyes, you see life differently, and you can spot when someone perhaps is not exercising their power to the greatest of their ability.
If you have organic interactions with someone inspired by you to take their power back, we love that for them.
But just like you didn’t want that unsolicited opinion when you set boundaries, no one wants unsolicited advice from the awakened one either.
We can take our power back, but to maintain our power, we need to stay in our lane. That means that we are not only making our own decisions, but we are respecting the decisions of others.
Love the reminder to set boundaries, about respecting other’s decisions (within reason ha!), and being bold with the choices you make. I enjoyed reading this!!
This post makes you think. What stands out to me is taking your power back among being in apologetic admins setting boundaries all areas in which I struggle. There is an inherit guilt that comes from setting boundaries with children, especially in my circumstance being that my child is autistic, but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t happen. Even more so being unapologetic about it, it holding me back from the power I need to have for my own sanity. Much needed thought provoking words. Thank you.
I like your post!